i just google imaged poop.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
