I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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