If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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