how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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