you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
