i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
