It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Congratulations! We have a period
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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