But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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