im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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