you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
