I cockslap morals
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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