Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
