You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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