I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
