My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
