I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
