Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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