I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
