found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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