Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
