so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
