I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
