We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
