it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
