Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
