those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
