This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
