did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do vagina's smell?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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