why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
