So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
