i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I did not marry a roomba.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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