i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
