Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
