Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
nutella sex= disaster
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
