Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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