I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
