just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wannas sexs uuuuu
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
