She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
