apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
