We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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