I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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