I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
