its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
