The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You made out with two different species that night
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
