I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
