i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
