i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
