She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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