wat bout pragnant strippers??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
