It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Green mimosas i think yes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
