i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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